I have in the past, been a part-time, on/off blogger - establishing my first
Moments, Memories and Musings blog in 2011, largely to share photos as a burgeoning photographer. I also kept a
travel blog on my Mediterranean cruise. I hope to add to this later in the year - read on.
So why establish this blog, and why now?
I largely keep many of my personal thoughts in my head - probably wise - but sometimes I find that externalising them keeps me honest with myself. I don't always have someone around to bounce ideas off when I am thinking these things. I am also a great one for talking myself out of things, as opposed to talking myself into them. Sometimes I just need someone to say - you can do it, go for it, don't stop now - when I falter in self-belief.
I have also never been a hard out goal setter, but the winds of change seem to be blowing in 2017, and I want to make sure I stay on course.
To move forward sometimes you need to look back just a little. 2016 was OK... but I don't feel like I maximised the time afforded to me. I attribute some of this to my ongoing ankle injuries, the lack of exercise perpetuating itself not only in inactivity, but also in weight gain. With this comes the cycle of self shaming and judging my worth on how I look, and therefore not wanting to accept opportunities or do things because of this. This struggle is real people, and I am sure some others out there suffer from this internal affliction as well.
I had a few tough days around New Year - I had not made plans, everyone seemed to be enjoying their family time (this I know, Facebook told me), I injured my ankle AGAIN and I just felt sorry for myself. When I pulled myself out of the fug, I realised once again that I needed to be more proactive in managing my destiny. Make life happen instead of letting it pass by.
I called a couple of friends and had some lovely catch ups. I picked up my camera and reminded myself the absolute joy, satisfaction and purpose photography provides for me. I still spent (read - spend) far too much time on the internet, but in doing so, I clicked on a link for a photographers' tour to India which has catalysed putting a more purposeful lens on the year ahead.
Long story short, the dates for the tour were perfect, in that they fell in the Term 3 school holidays. Finding dates that work for any organised trip is tricky because although teachers get 'all these holidays', anything outside of these times is leave without pay - and that hurts. I found a couple of ears to talk to, to confirm for me it was a good idea, and boom! Booked it.
So... who wants to go on a trip unfit and not liking what they look like? Not me. I've made myself a Healthy Lifestyle plan to monitor a few key areas, with open ended success indicators, as opposed to "I will... by..." My experience of self tells me that I fail frequently because I abandon targets I set for myself if I miss just one time. Who knows if a looser approach will enable more success, but if the past method fails continuously, you've got to try something different.
Usually my accountability in this area is driven by money - sending it the way of an expert/trainer/weight loss organisation/all of the above, and wanting that money to be well spent! However the trip was not financially planned for, and this also goes for the late 2016 new camera purchase, so I am reluctant to spend any money on something I should, by rights, be able to manage myself.
I actually had a little panic about money. This too happens frequently! So I have made myself a budget for the first time in a few years as well. Hopefully this will eliminate the need to dip into my rainy day reserves, and fingers crossed there will be no major disasters or dog surgeries between now and then.
In addition this year, I have also taken on 4 papers towards my Diploma of Digital Photography, prepared a set for my
LPSNZ, and started the process of establishing a small photography business. The trip has probably slowed down the intended pace for the latter, but that is not a bad thing, as it is probably wise to do the qualification in its entirety before putting my energy into that.
Not forgetting my real job - one that suits me very well at this stage of my life. I need to get over chastising myself for staying in the same workplace for 11 years now, and having been there 'since it was a paddock'. There is still plenty to keep me stimulated, and I like the people I work with. I have accepted a new challenge for 2017, and am enjoying the third fabulous Principal I have worked with at my school. I'm content in this domain for now.
Reading back, composing this post has had the desired cathartic effect - do I want to publish it to the world now? Do I want to share my laundry, holes and all? Will I be judged? Will others perhaps relate in parts? Will it mean I have no choice but to follow through? In those last few sentences I have illustrated what indeed goes on in that busy brain of mine, behind closed doors. Time to open them up ... *publishes blog post*
